If Shipley was a colour, it would be dull and grey.

If Shipley was the weather, it would be a cloudy day.

If Shipley was a toy, it would be a broken Rubik's Cube.

If Shipley was a texture, it would be sticky, green goo.

If Shipley was a vehicle, it would be one with squeaky brakes.

If Shipley was a magician, it would summon mouldy cakes.

If Shipley was a smell, it would be a cup of Yorkshire Tea.

If Shipley was an insect, it would be a persistent bee.

If Shipley was a transport, it would, of course, be a train.

If Shipley was a body part, it would be the complex brain.

If Shipley was music, it would be a rap-style song.

If Shipley was a sense, it would be the sense of right and wrong.

If Shipley was a pizza, it would be an off-brand Domino's.

If Shipley was a wish, it would be a perfect rose.